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Void

It's dark. My eyes are open but I can't see a thing. For a moment I think they are closed. But then I blink and feel my eyelids. It takes a few minutes to register that I just woke up from a dream. But the dream hasn't ended. I don't remember what the dream was but the feeling is still there. And it is of despair. I am sleepy and my eyes heavy. But I don't want to go back to sleep because it feels like I won't get back up. So I want to savour this moment.  I try to stay awake and make the most of it. But the feeling drags me down. The despair becomes distress which in turn becomes desperation. I have a vivid encounter with the void I'd leave behind if I don't make it. The void sucks me in. It's a maelstrom.  I don't know what to make of it. I'm falling. I think of what I did and I think of what I didn't. I keep falling. I think of what I could and I think of what I couldn't. I'm still falling. It's an abyss. Before ...
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Mental Mathematics

Life was much simpler when I was a kid. Everything was transitive. The mathematics of my life was pretty basic. There was not much beyond a line segment, a circle, a square or a triangle. The DMAS seemed cool enough. But then I grew up. The equations became differential, (D(M(A)S) was parenthesised, the line lost its segment, the square turned into a quadrilateral, the triangle became a polygon and the circle turned vicious. The drawing and crossing of lines had a different meaning now. True and false became multiple-choice questions. And almost every time, I found myself checking "none of the above". I don't know the hows and whys, but the geometry of my life was distorted.  Algebra was pretty smooth until I was asked to find the variable x. And after a few incipient calculations, I thought I had it. But one plain variable wasn't enough. The equations became quadratic, the numbers became irrational and the solution changed with the direction of inequalities...
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